My Testimony

For the longest time I did not feel I really had a testimony. Although there is more to my story today, I still feel that this first part of my life is an important thing for me to share; especially to kids in there early to mid teen years.

I was raised in a Christian home, going to church every week with my family. I was not forced to be a Christian, but at the same time I never thought of following anything else. I was not baptized until I was 11-years-old because my parents felt that it was important to understand the meaning behind baptism. So in sixth grade after learning about baptism I went to my parents explained that I know why we should be baptism and its meaning.

This was the start of a great high point in my walk with God. I was going to Sunday school every week, ago with Bible study and Battlezone (a mid-week outreach program). Oh, I almost forgot – it was at Battlezone that I remember consciously giving my life to God; however, I never really talked to anyone about it. My oldest brother and my sister were both counselors for the Jr. High program, and for some reason I always felt that I was expected to follow after them. The thought of being a counselor in the future had never bothered me. The problem was that I felt that I should already know more than I did about Christianity and throughout the first year or two of Jr. High I hated having to having to talk about things I did not know which made it difficult to grow spiritually.

Not to long after I was baptized my other brother (not the one involved with the youth group) moved to Reno and returned months later with a drug problem. This was a very difficult time in my life, but I fell back on God. I found one particular person at church who I could talk with openly, and my walk with God was growing stronger and stronger – I do not know how I would have made it though my brothers addiction without God to run to.

It was either my 8th or 9th grade year that I began feeling everything above this did not make a moving testimony and felt that it was pointless to share with anyone. However, then I realized that just because I had known God for as long as I could remember it did not mean that God could not use this to move other people. I think that people would question the Greatness of God if he could only be found at complete “rock bottom.” There are many people who come to God just because they have something missing in there life. Having people who have simple testimonies helps those people feel, that even those there is not wrong with them and they are not spiraling out of control, that it is ok to search for their Father.

Now you have probably noticed that I am a college student who has only talk about her testimony up until the start of high school, so let me continue. Up until this point my walk had just been getting better, but high was a different story.

By the end of 8th grade I had noticed that my walk was growing kind of stagnant and that do to the outreach nature of the church I attended I was no longer growing spiritually. However, this only made me want to get into high school all the more because I had seen how dedicated the high school group was to growing into leaders and the standards to which they were held. But was with many things in life, it did not turnout as I expected. Due to pastoral and leadership changes with in the church rules about being lessen and so did the effort students began putting into there walk along with the effort of leaders around to hold them accountable. Not even halfway through my 9th grade year I had had even of the high school group. I was tired of posers and the apathy the church had for helping students grow – I wanted more. So after a brief stint of attending the adult services, I began going to a different youth group with a friend. It was small and the discussions had a deep nature to them, I felt that they actually cared about helping with growth, rather than only doing outreach. The problem was, was that after a few months they begin trying to do both and in the end became focused on outreach as my church before, so I began going less and less to the point that I stopped going to church at all. For a few months everything was fine I kept reading my Bible, having quite times and praying, but then those things started decreasing and no one could tell then one day I stopped doing anything. Being that I had grown up in a Christian home, I know all the “right” answers to things without having to think about it and everyone around me thought that my walk was as strong as ever – so I stopped caring. I was never against God and never was trying to rebel from him, but I was not growing even when I tried and nothing really seemed to changed when I stop doing anything so it felt pointless to continue.

Just before graduating high school, although I was still living in a way that no one know I was not walking with God, I began to feel the change, but I run into a problem. Not only did I want God back in my life, but I began feeling that I wanted that someone special as well. Every time I would begin to get my walk back on track, I would see how happy my siblings were with their “other halves” and would again feel that I was missing something in my life (I had always wanted to get married young), and I would tell myself (young and stupid as I was) that if I really had God back in my life I would have all I needed in him and would no longer have large desire to meet someone. It took me sometime, but I finally realized the obvious – that God design marriage and that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be married.

And there is my story – nothing dramatic, no large life changing events…but then again…the God who made me dying on a cross for my sins and then having the grace to guide me and take me back into his arm no matter how many times or how many ways I mess up, misunderstand, or let my sin nature take control, that is what makes me know that there is meaning in it all, and that every Christian has a story to tell.